Irish Roots.

Time passed uneventfully and with its passing Anna was lulled into a warm, safe place with Gian. He made her feel secure and contented.
By the time autumn rolled around they were planning a vacation in Spain. They chose the date and sat on her couch and drank red wine and looked at brochures. And photographs of pensiones. With sunny balconies and quaint little kitchens.
Once in awhile Anna's Irish sensibility would squirm. Every Irish man and woman knows when things are going grand that’s when the bottom drops out.
But Anna pushed away those dark Celtic thoughts.

Noisy Italians.

It seemed to Anna noise was a big part of the Italian way of life.
Whenever she called Gian there was background noise. Big Italian noise. Mrs. Morretti interrupting him, talking to him, Ringo barking, the TV blaring. He'd go to his bedroom not to escape the noise but to have phone sex with Anna and his radio would be blaring there too.
Anna felt she was getting a little bit louder herslf. But being louder gave her a certain sense of freedom. She had put her size six foot into the Tiber and was enjoying it. It was a nice contrast to the sedate expressions of WASPs.
She'd quickly remind herself not to get too carried away emulating noisy Italians.

Past Men.

Men from her single past would call Anna from time to time. When she'd say she wasn't single anymore she would always get the inevitable, “ Well, I’ll call you again in a few months”. Men could be so annoying.
Anna finally realized she would never, ever be able to figure them out and sensibly decided to stop trying.

No Mea Culpa Necessary.

She waited thinking it might take him a minute to get up the courage to say the words. There wasn't enough alcohol in Anna’s bloodstream to block the feeling of being a total fool. Never had she confessed love and not heard it back. She knew she’d have to deal with this in the morning.
Anna woke up early and snuggled into Gian. She loved to press into him. Into his warm body. At moments like this Anna felt a decided pull on her heartstrings. But the warm, fuzzy feelings came to a full stop when in a flood of memory she recalled last night.
There was nothing to do but apologize. No time like the present. Just get it over with.
Anna sucked in her breath, woke him up and launched into her apology for putting him on the spot. Things were decidedly deteriorating. He said he hadn’t heard whatever it was she’d said last night. Now Anna had to restate her love mea culpa and even worse yet in the hard, cold and very sober light of day. Gian would either laugh at her or jump into his jeans and flee.
Neither of those things happened.
The beautiful reality was in the sober light of day he told Anna he loved her too. Without the puke part.

Love and Vomit.

Anna drank too much Shiraz that night. It was very late by the time they got back to her place.
The minute they opened the door Gian picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
Perhaps it was all the wine she’d drunk or the anticipation of sex with Gian or maybe she was besotted mid air by the he-man effect. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen up there in his arms.
Whatever it was that was the very moment Anna declared her love for Gian. Oh yes, she declared it alright. I love you so much I could puke. At the time it seemed a perfectly good way to express her love.
She held her breath. He didn't respond.

Question Night.

They had a contest going. Devised by Anna. Naturally.
Every month they took turns taking each other out to dinner. The only stipulation was it had to be someplace unique.
Anna went for the restaurants a little on the quirky side. Gian being a generous man went for the high end posh places.
The plan was at the end of the year whoever had chosen the best restaurants would be declared the winner. Anna hadn’t figured out how that would be determined. Something Gian had pointed out to her. She did know the prize would be a fabulous night out paid for by the winner.
It was Saturday night and Gian's turn.
Anna decided it would also be question night.

A Big Question.

A few weeks later Anna decided it was high time to settle the love question. Long overdue actually.
She didn't want to be with someone who either didn’t love her or couldn't say the words or didn't know what he felt.

Going Home.

Throughout all of this every evening for the entire week Gian phoned Anna. For hours he'd listen to her tidal wave of unrelenting sadness. Consoling her. Comforting her. Anna couldn’t imagine how she would have survived without his calls.
But what Anna wanted most in the world was to hear the doctors say her mother would live. And to hear Gian say he loved her.
Three days later the doctors took Anna and Carol aside to say their mother was going to be okay. Anna flew home the following day and slept for a week.
It took months for her mother to recover. But she did.

Holding On.

Anna opened her mother’s curled fingers. Lint had settled in the creases of her palm. Like a new born’s hand. Anna desperately wanted to whisper into her mother’s ear. To tell her that her hands were like little stars too. But they weren’t. They were bruised from all the IV lines and swollen from all the medications being pumped into her fragile body.
She kissed the palm of her mother’s hand. And then she held it. All day and all night long. Tightly. Hoping to prevent her from slipping away. Anna thought she could physically pull her back from the brink. Whatever it was.
Pull her away from the white light. Pull her away from the dark nothingness.

Lines.

Each and every day for the better part of a week she sat at her mother’s bedside.
Staring at all the IV lines which extended deep into her mother’s body. And the tube in her throat to keep her breathing. One into her belly to nourish her. One in her side to drain a massive infection. Another collecting urine that dripped steadily into a bag at the side of the bed. Lines into a vein in her neck. More lines in her arms. Monitors checking her breathing, her heart, her pulse. Her temperature. Pulsing green lights and squiggly lines and sometimes the sound of a flashing red alarm.
All the while her mother slept. The sleep of the unconscious. Oblivious to the doctors and the nurses. And to Carol. And to Anna. Oblivious to pain. Oblivious to life.

Gian's Tears.

The fact that Gian said he'd leave Montreal the next morning to fly out to be with her and her family didn't stop Anna from accusing him of insensitivity.
Gian's friends were talking in the background. Telling him to hurry up. It was party time. He told them to go without him. The call he was on was important.
Only Anna didn’t want to see Gian. She just wanted to forget how low she felt on the rung of his life. She said she needed to be with the people who loved her.
Gian was crying when Anna hung up the phone and he never did go out that night. Anna could be pretty insensitive herself.

Loosing It.

The following weekend Gian went to Montreal with his buddies. God knew he needed to let off steam.
Unfortunately it was that weekend Anna received the call. The one from her brother-in-law. It was time for Anna to fly to the coast to say goodbye to a mother whose life was quickly slipping away.
Anna called Gian in Montreal to tell him she was flying out the next morning. Maybe it had been the background sound of his buddies partying, but more likely she just needed Gian.
Whatever it was Anna lost it.

Shelter.

Gian listened to Anna talk about her mother. He held her when she sobbed. He understood. Gian had taken care of his dying father.
There was another wedding to attend only Anna couldn't go. She wanted to but she was in no shape.
Gian left the wedding early. Anna was in bed. She heard him come in. She needed his arms around her. He tiptoed into the bedroom, took off his suit, climbed into bed and held her tightly.
She would never forget that night. Gian was Anna’s shelter in this storm.

Little Stars.

Carol called Anna at work to say their mother had the surgery but all was not well.
The surgeon had botched things up. Terribly. And now their mother was on life support. Anna's brother-in-law said he would call the minute there was any change.
Anna went home right away, took a suitcase from the closet and put it on the floor beside the bed. She thought about when she was just a little girl. Her mother would hold Anna's hands and tell her they were like stars.
Anna cried some more. How could this have happened?
Things had never been perfect between them but there was no doubt she loved her mother.
Anna went to the closet, took out her black suit, put it in the suitcase and then she cried. All night long.

WASPS AND WOPS.

Most of Anna’s friends didn’t believe in big weddings or even marriage for that matter.
But Gian’s friends did. And their weddings were a far cry from WASP weddings.
Although that was changing. WASPS were getting wise to the money idea. In the form of miniature replica horse drawn carriages. Icing white and very ornate the carriages looked like they’d fallen off the wedding cake. It was into the top of the carriage that guests stuffed envelopes of money. Lots of money. Probably for the better Anna thought. It was quite practical. How many toasters and juicers and irons did a happy WASP couple need anyway?
She thought about this on their way to Gian’s friend's wedding.
The thought crossed her mind she was an observer. A la sociologist. Tina told her she was nuts and told her to just get drunk. Maybe she was right.
Still, ever since Mr. Ex and his family took photographs of a dead uncle lying in his casket Anna went to these life altering non WASP ceremonies with curiosity.
Sometimes Anna loved being WASP. Sometimes not.

Changes.

The days slipped into months and in the blink of an eye it was late spring.
Gian’s mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Gian would take care of her. Out of love. Out of obligation. Out of necessity.
Anna could see his future. Gian saw it too and he was scared.
The days slipped further away and it was mid summer.
Anna’s mother was scheduled for elective surgery. Carol assured Anna the doctor was the best in his field. Anna wasn’t scared.

Heat.

It was a freezing cold night. Gian ran to the corner store to buy a bottle of red wine. They drank the bottle while they got dressed.
Gian looked hotter than Anna had ever seen him. She was overcome with an enormous tidal wave of lust. She wanted him bad. In the elevator she felt the urge to grab him by the belt and pull him into her. But Anna knew he’d never go for that. He’d worry about getting caught. Nevertheless Anna was really, really tempted. Luckily for Gian the elevator stopped at the ground floor. Just in time.
He had picked the perfect night club. Dark and noisy. At midnight he kissed Anna so long and hard on the mouth it made her melt. They went back to their hotel room and had sex all night long.
It really did turn out to be the best New Year's Eve ever.

Internet Cafe.

They hadn’t made plans for New Years Eve and the pressure was on. It was the day of.
After the past two days of sex, exploring and French Canadian cuisine Gian said they’d better reserve something.
It was noon when they found a little internet cafe and Gian found a venue he thought they’d like. Should they take a chance? They did.