October 31.

Anna and Tina were off to Richard’s Halloween party.
Richard was Anna's best guy friend. He was smart, funny and very hot. Not only that, Richard was the nice guy all women wanted.
Richard and Anna had dated each other a long time ago. He had confessed to Tina he was in love with Anna. Of course she blabbed it to Anna. Strangely enough though Richard never told Anna. If he had things might have turned out differently.
Whenever she saw him Anna still wondered why. As she poured a glass of Shiraz it crossed her mind that one day she should ask him about that.
But in the meantime she had to hurry to get dressed.
She was going as Marilyn Monroe.
She finished putting on her Marilyn makeup, zippered up her tight white dress and put on heels. Tina had loaned Anna a beautiful blonde wig. She put on the wig and glued a fake beauty mark to her cheek. Anna was ready to go.
Tina was going as a hooker but what else was new.

911.

After they turned her place upside down and after the German Shepherd poked his big head under her bed and sniffed around and after the swat team calmed Anna down they asked her to listen to a call.
It was a recording. She knew that voice. It was Nugent. Calling 911 to say Anna had plunged a butcher knife into her boyfriend’s chest. And he was bleeding to death on her bedroom floor.
Now Anna could be a big baby a lot of the time but once she made up her mind to fight she would take anyone on. And she made up her mind to take Nugent on. Determined he’d never bully her again.
So now Anna would have her day in court. To get a restraining order.

Night Visitors.

The city was sleeping. Like Anna had been.
Then sudden violent pounding on her front door woke her. And voices. Voices on the other side of the door. Yelling. Open up or they'd have to break it down.
Through the peephole she saw four police officers. Guns drawn.
Anna flung open the door. She was wearing pajamas printed with little yellow puppies. Puppy pajamas or not the swat team shoved Anna aside and crashed their way in.
Followed by one more officer and one very big German Shepherd.

Lines Done and Lines Crossed.

It was about a week later when Nugent stopped her on the sidewalk. Blocking her way.
Anna had been walking home from work. Under her breath she was singing. Something from Koop Island Blues. Life was good.
You fuckin’ lesbian. He stood directly in front of her. She looked at his face. Into his blood shot eyes.
Anna didn’t respond. Those eyes belonged to a crazy man. She walked around him praying he didn’t sense her fear.
She hadn't told anyone about what happened in the convenience store and she didn't mention the sidewalk either.
Then late one night Nugent crossed the line.

Psycho Love.

And then there was that little thing called psycho love.
Cupid’s alter ego struck Anna in the embodiment of Nugent. A pumped up drug dealer. In lust.
She had been standing in line at the convenience store. The most innocent of places. While the cashier rang up her organic multi grain bread and fair trade coffee.
He was standing behind her. I’d like to buy you a drink. Anna ignored him. Only he said it again. Louder this time.
Shit. She knew she had to respond before he got even louder. No, I’m sorry. Anna was ever so polite. I’m with someone.
But Anna should have guessed it wouldn’t end there.
Nugent was accustomed to getting what he wanted.

Frank Sinatra, Love Guru.

Lately all around Anna relationships were suddenly sputtering and failing.
Barbara began to wonder what Mr. Right wanted with her.
Kate’s honeymoon stage with her hot crush was turning out not to be such a great honeymoon after all.
Leslie hadn’t even mentioned the nice guy in ages.
Then there was Kath who never dated at all and didn’t seem to want to. Maybe she had the right idea? But how did she survive day in and day out without waking up beside someone she loved? Anna was still crazy in love with the way Gian continued to hold her hand while he slept.
She put on a Frank Sinatra CD. Frank was Anna's love guru. Frank sang about it all. The heights of love and the bullshit of love.

Heidi.

Of course Anna got over it. And of course she continued to see him. How could she not? Especially when Gian said he could never do anything like that. Even if Heidi Klum asked him to.

Aftermath.

Anna decided not to see Gian for awhile. At least until this all blew over. She needed time to think.
Maybe she needed to get out before she fell ever further.

Six O'Clock News.

Gian wanted to tell Anna before she found out some other way.
The woman had been married. And her husband had been ill. Gian said it hadn’t been any of his business. He hadn't worried about any of that. It was only about the sex.
Gian did say he worried his mother might find out.
Extortion. Murder. Italians. The thought crossed Anna's mind she might have fallen in love with a fucking mobster. She yelled at him outside her office for fifteen minutes straight.
Anna was livid.
The whole thing made her feel like vomiting up her lunch.

Witness For The Prosecution.

She had a feeling it would be good idea to take this call outside. Anna held her breath.
Before Anna there had been a woman he'd met on an internet sex site. They had online sex. And phone sex. Were they back together? No.
Could this have gotten any worse? Yes.
She'd been charged with extortion. And arranging her husband’s murder.
Gian had been called as a witness for the prosecution.

Confessions.

Things seemed to be okay between Anna and Gian. Then he called her at work one afternoon and said he had to tell her something. Shit, was her first thought.
Turns out it was confession time for Gian.

Pepe.

As it turned out Delia spent the night with her Latino guy. Three nights in fact before she flew back to LA. She told Anna it was the best sex ever. She'd get him a green card if he wanted.
Tina went home with his friend but it hadn't been all that great. Tina didn't like dogs much and his dog had barked at her all night long. It was a big distraction.
She left early in the morning after she told him Pepe was a stupid name for his chihuahua anyway.

Mothers and Lovers.

The next day Anna stayed in bed. Her phone rang non stop until she turned the ringer off. She couldn’t bear to hear about Tina and Delia and the Latino guys. It would have to wait.
The only time she left the bedroom was to get ginger ale, Advil and Gravol.
When she was awake and beginning to feel better she couldn’t help but wonder about this mother thing. Why was this becoming a constant in her life?
Even her girlfriends were starting to wonder.

The Return of the Goddesses.

Anna felt like hell and wanted to sit in the bathroom. On the floor right beside the toilet. Thank god he was a clean freak in the bathroom.
He sat right down beside her on the floor and held her hand. She wondered if he’d hold her hair too if she puked.
I only love two women he said. You, and my mom. Jesus Christ, thought Anna and right then and there she puked up one hell of a stream of tequila and olives all over his bathroom floor. When she finished puking she pulled herself up as dignified as she possibly could and dabbed her mouth with a big wad of toilet paper. Luckily the puke had missed her beautiful new dress and expensive shoes.
Unfortunately, she said, I no longer love you. With that Anna walked out of his bathroom and out of his life.
The goddesses had simply outshone themselves that night.

The Shoe Drops.

If Mr. Ex was surprised he certainly hadn’t shown it.
Anna said hi. Just hi. That was all. The worms were getting wilder by the second.
He looked at her for a moment and smiled. Then he took her arm and held the door open.
The shoe slipped out of her hand. Even in her tequila haze she hadn’t expected a greeting like this. Anna picked the shoe up, put it back on her foot and went inside.

Bravery In A Shot Glass.

The lights were off. Of course. It was after 3:00 o’clock in the morning. But so what. The time had not deterred Anna in the least.
She took off her shoe and banged the heel on his front door.
The thought had crossed her mind that perhaps Mr. Ex might not be alone. Anna banged on the door anyway. Bravery came with too much tequila.
The lights went on at the neighbour’s house next door and somewhere a dog barked. Coincidentally, just as her stiletto heel was poised to hit the door once more the door opened. There he was with his jugular in full view.
Anna resisted the urge.

The Tequila Blues.

The Latino guys showed up shortly after. Delia and Tina were happy. When the Latino guys saw Delia, Tina and Anna they were pretty happy too. But Anna just wanted to go home. She looked around for Liz who was nowhere in sight.
Anna was feeling queasy. Tequila queasy. Like there were hundreds of tangled worms writhing around in her stomach. She would have called Gian but he couldn't just get up and leave his mother. So Anna stood on the sidewalk. Alone. In the damp night air.
She lit a cigarette and made two decisions. She would never drink tequila again. She flicked the cigarette butt into the gutter. And she would stop by Mr. Ex’s place.
Anna hailed the next passing cab.

Casting Stones and Salt.

Four hours and copious drinks later Anna was doing tequila shots off some beautiful Greek’s muscular chest. Needing a breather she drunk walked her way to the washroom to fix her lipstick. Delia was there at the sink. On her cell phone. Tina was beside her. They were taking turns talking to the Latino guy.
Anna reminded Delia and Tina that they needed to meet some non bad ass guys.
Delia and Tina reminded Anna that she had just been licking salt off some guy’s chest.
Right. Anna fixed her lipstick and left them to it.

Olives.

They met up at Anna's place for some very powerful gin martinis. Anna didn't like gin martinis much. She drank them because she loved olives.
They all looked gorgeous. And Anna had never seen so much popping cleavage in one cab at one time. Neither had the cabbie. He drove right by the restaurant. Anna put her leg and beautiful stilletto shoe up over the seat to show him where to turn. He did. An illegal u-turn in heavy traffic. Meanwhile Delia was acting as back seat driver. LA style. Telling the cabbie to run red lights and cut off other drivers. As they sped by Delia gave them the finger.
Maybe it was the collective cleavage or the stillettos or their laughter or Delia's back seat driving but he got them to the restaurant in record time.

Non Bad Ass Guys.

It was all arranged for later that night.
They were going to meet up for drinks, then dinner and then go somewhere for more drinks. Delia, Liz, Tina and Anna.
The Latino guy Delia met at the airport wanted to join them. And bring his buddies. When Delia told her how hot the Latino guy was Tina thought it would be a great idea to meet them later for a drink.
Anna nixed that idea. She wanted her girlfriends to meet some non bad ass guys for a change.

Piggley Wiggley Girls.

There she was. The same Delia. New cigarette holder. Waiting outside at the airport. Chatting up some hot Latino looking guy. Anna was elated to see her. It had been over a year since they’d seen each other and they had so much to catch up on. Delia had just divorced her cheating husband after she caught him in their bed with the checkout girl from the Piggley Wiggley.
Now it was Delia’s turn to go on a tear.

Delia.

Anna’s phone rang off the hook in the middle of the night. It was Delia in Los Angeles and she was coming to visit Anna for the weekend.
Delia and Anna went way back. They'd met one stormy afternoon on a ferry crossing of the English Channel. Anna stressed about the storm and finding a place to stay in Calais. Delia had no place to stay and couldn't care less if the ferry tipped over and sank to the bottom of the Channel. No stress at all.
Delia had been playing the slots and approached Anna for a light. To light the cigarette that was hanging precariously at the end of a very long cigarette holder. Delia was exquisitely beautiful. Black hair and violet eyes. She looked for all the world like a young Elizabeth Taylor. With pale skin. That in itself was so unusual for sun obsessed Californians. But Delia was very careful about her skin. As with the rest of her body. Except her lungs and her liver.
Anna knew it was going to be one wild weekend.

Foreplay.

Anna thought there was nothing hotter than a guy in the kitchen cooking great food. And the prospect of having great sex after dinner. Or between courses.

He Can Cook Too.

Anna absolutely loved the nights Gian cooked for them. He called her his sous chef. The yes chef in the kitchen. Of course that wasn't the case. Mostly Anna drank Shiraz and watched Gian work. He was always very focused when he cooked. Chopping. Measuring. Stirring. Tasting.
One afternoon he brought his mother’s pasta maker over. Pasta from scratch. He would hand the wet pasta to Anna. She hung it to dry over wire coat hangers. In the kitchen and living room. When Anna stepped back and looked at all the hanging pasta she thought it was one of the most romantic things she had ever seen. Between dough risings they would run into the bedroom and have spectacular sex. Like something from an Italian film.
The food Gian made was always really delicious.

Sex and King Tut.

He lived out of town and had a long drive to her place. The first and last time they had sex he’d driven through a blinding snow storm to see her. With a crepe pan. He wanted to make dessert crepes for Anna.
The crepes were so so. The sex was not so so. It was the worst ever.
And not only that. He wore a mouth guard when he slept. A brand new one. His puppy had found and chewed up the last one. He had Attention Deficit Disorder. His medication made him perspire buckets. And he snored. Loudly. Really, really loudly.
When Anna complained he was dripping wet he wrapped a towel around his head. He looked like King Tut. He tried to say good night through his mouth guard. Anna told him he sounded retarded. He told her not to be so politically incorrect. It was mentally challenged. And when he began to snore Anna kicked him out of bed and made him sleep in the living room.
King Tut said he was infatuated with her. Anna said goodbye.

Corners.

Anna definitely needed to take another route to work. That corner was proving to be a strange conduit to past lovers.
Like the rich young guy from the Middle East. There he was at the corner parked in his BMW. She walked faster. Thankfully he didn't see her.
He was young. She didn’t know exactly how young at the time. The night they met he said he was twenty three. It turned out he was really twenty two. Tina laughed. What the hell difference did a year make.

Domestic Bliss.

Anna was quite happy now. So were most of her girlfriends.
Leslie had decided to take a chance and date the nice guy. Kate was off to Prague to have wild Euro sex with her crush. And Barbara had finally found her Mr. Right.
Were things settling down into a kind of rosy pseudo domestic bliss?
It looked that way.

What's Worse..Bats or Veggie Dogs?

Men were odd that way. Not much for talking but when action was required it was a different story. One night they’d been watching TV. Eating veggie dogs. Poor Gian. He never put up a fuss or made a face when Anna gave him strange things to eat. Put lots of condiments on your veggie dog and you’ll love it. That’s what she said and that’s exactly when a bat swooped down into the room. It flew blindly into the furniture and walls while Anna screamed for Gian to kill it. Although he hated to hurt the bat never mind kill it, he did. He killed it for Anna. He even helped her clean her veggie dog off the floor.
Men were great that way.